Romcom-Reallife

All I learned about love came from cheesy 80's movies, where men vie for the attentions of unattainable women, nerds get the hot girl/guy, bad guys get the good girl, and if you pester someone enough they will fall in love with you.

Nerdy (hot) Patrick Dempsey was willing to spend his hard earned cash for a pretend girlfriend.

Lane was willing to nearly kill himself skiing for Monique

Many moons ago I was engaged to a guy who broke things off, then we got back together, then broke things off, then got back together... and so on, and finally I ended things because of my reasons. But I always held out hope that he would come chasing after me and (in the figurative sense) show up outside of my sister's wedding in a porsche 944.

But, heart-crushingly, he did not. Fortunately with time and wisdom I see that it all turned out for the best, but there is that little 80's kid part of me that still wanted to be worth storming a castle.

Well, last fall I dated a guy Hank* for a few months, and he seemed to be quite the catch. Handsome, funny, considerate, loves animals, liked me... and then he couldn't handle being in a relationship at the same time as having a sick and dying dog. So, things fizzled out. I was really sad, but hiked up my big girl panties and moved on.

Well, the beginning of the year marked a Happy New Year text from Hank, and then he proceeded to spend the next few months "liking" my facebook posts and photos, and then it all culminated with a facebook message (not a text, even though surely he still had my number) that he would like to take me out for dinner. When he returns from working in Boston. In four months.

Uhmm... OK? I mean, sure? Not sure what he wanted from dinner. So I waited. And waited. And then finally a phone call asking me to dinner. I agreed, not knowing what he wanted. My best guess was he felt badly about how things ended and wanted to make amends so that we could "be friends." Sure, buddy, whatever. I had said everything I wanted to say when we ended things, but he didn't really, so maybe he was just holding on to that and needed closure. I figure, free dinner is worth letting him feel better about himself. So I go... and really nothing prepared me for what I was met with.

Hank basically fulfilled my every 80's movie fantasy by letting me know he took full responsibility for how things ended and that he wanted to date me again, if I was willing to date him.

holy sh*t

This is basically what dinner looked like:

the movie where I learned the sax is sexy

I was floored, to say the least. And he was leaving the next day for a trip, then back to Boston for work. But he wanted to fly me to Boston for a date. Lawd have mercy. Every 80's fantasy rolled into one. We ended dinner with me needing to collect my thoughts, and him getting on a plane.

What is next for Hank and I? Not sure... but even if it is nothing, my inner 80's kid is glowing, knowing she is worth fighting for.

Nobody puts Baby in the Corner

*y'all know I never use real names, duh. 

Misconception or I should have known better

Remember when I used to work shopping for children?

I'll take this cute one, salesclerk.  Make sure you include the receipt.

Well, I got a chance to work on the other end of that. And boy was that juice not worth the squeeze.

My current part-time job is working for a 70+ year old acting a modeling school teaching kids and teens.  The curriculum is a 10 week course, and so far I have only subbed a few classes.  This past weekend I got the opportunity to work one of the recruiting events, or "free workshop" classes designed to entice kids to take the classes.

I got the email and it said to be there by 9:30AM, and there would be "workshops" at 10, 12, 3 and 5 and that lunch would be provided.  I figured that the last workshop would be maybe an hour or so and that I would be done by 6:30 or 7:00PM at the latest.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

We didn't start the first workshop until about 10:30 or 10:45AM due to technical difficulties, and the workshops were lasting anywhere from 2-3 hours EACH. That is 2-3 hours of trying to entertain kids ranging from 6-18 years old. Two to three hours of wrangling bored parents into clapping for everyone and who could care less about any other child but their own.  And then repeat these tasks for FOUR different workshops. The last workshop of the day started at about 6:30PM and I was not done until almost 9:00PM. I barely got 30 minutes to scarf down the free lunch provided (a soggy Subway sandwich) and was standing in my heels practically the whole day.  And YES I would like some cheese with my whine.

If I didn't like the regular teaching gig so much/it didn't pay as well as it does I would have walked out of there at about 5PM, giving them a few choice words not fit for young ears.  But.  I would like to continue to work for them.  So.  I stayed.  But now I know.  If they ever want me to work a "free workshop" day again, they can go fuck themselves.

lets all give thanks

Thanksgiving this year meant my brother (once again) got off scott free since he lives in BFE and "has to" work during the holidays.  Lucky bastard.  I cannot remember the last thanksgiving he actually had to spend with the family.

I know, I know, this is supposed to be a time we are all thankful for the time we get to spend with our loved ones, but as every family sitcom ever told us, it is actually a time of eating our feelings and overexposure to people you love because you have to.

"The Neighbors"

"The New Girl"

"The Middle"

Now, my mother is what I affectionately call the "Tour Guide." Every time she comes to town she is armed to the hilt with a file folder full of magazine clippings, printings from the internet, newspaper articles, and scribbled notes of things to do in town.  I've lived in Los Angeles for a decade, but Tour Guide always seems to find things to do here that I've never done and/or never heard of before.  When she arrives, she goes through the litany of ideas for things to do, Dad and I veto the ones that sound gawd-awful-boring and end up with a list of things that if we really hurry, we can do them all.  Tour Guide plans our days, and we are off! 

We went on hikes, visited the self-realization center/temple/garden, picnicked on the beach, shopped in Malibu, went to the farmer's market, and a ton of other things I've already blocked from my memory.  We basically traipsed the city from morning till night.  Somehow, even with all the activities, I still managed to get grilled by both parents together and individually about my employment status and my relationship status.  You'd think with how busy we were there would be less time for scrutiny. Not so.  (sigh... because I don't feel like enough of a loser already)

Silver lining... we filled my gas tank and went to Trader Joe's to stock the larder and my wallet never left my purse.  I guess now that they are gone and I'm sitting here eating a sammy made from food they bought me I can see that we all pay a price - theirs is a charge on the credit card and mine is listening to them harp on about "aren't you tired of being poor and single" and "you could just move back home" and "what about that nice boy you used to date" and "you're a smart girl; surely somebody will hire you." 

Surely somebody will make me another sammy.  No? Guess I'll have to do that myself. 

aaaand SCENE.

thank you ladies and gentlemen, but joanna has left the building.

AhThank HYew, thank yew vrry much.  Uh huh.

Yeah so remember when I had a momentary thought that I might actually make decent money at that horrible job doing demos of a slice/dice kitchen tool in stores? Bahahahahahahaa! Yeah, about that. What I thought was maybe an upswing in my income was just a small blip in an otherwise flat line.

DOA

Anyway, I most certainly did NOT rescind my resignation so I am once again unemployed... sigh...

Lucky for me, both Mom and Dad will be coming out this week for Thanksgiving.  That should be fun exciting ... interesting.  Thankfully they stay in a hotel when they both come to visit so I will at least be spared from their scrutiny for a few moments of each day about why I cannot seem to find gainful employment or a boyfriend. The good news is I don't have to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and they'll pay for meals.  Whoopee.

my lips are sealed. mostly.

Participated in "reality" today... I've signed several NDA's so I can't really say anything here, buuuuuuut I will say that out of 12 girls two of them had meltdowns and almost walked off the show.  I mean, honestly, I know we were all basically volunteers but I also would have thought we'd all know that this is a TV show and therefore just for fun.  Drama queens!

Ahh! I'm being forced to drink wine and have fun!

I felt sorry for the production crew that had to talk these girls down off the ledge.  One girl was in a snit because she didn't get picked by the bachelor-dude (uhmmm, hello??? neither did the rest of us! the point of the show is he can only pick one girl) and the other thought she was being discriminated against because of her hair color.  Sure, Sweetie, you're the only one here with that hair color except 6 or 7 other girls.  *sigh* LADIES! Put on your BGP and GET OVER IT!!!

Best part of the day? Aside from the spectacular people-watching of my other castmates, I had the best fucking breakfast sammie ever. mmmmm eggs, brie, avocado, lettuce, tomato, and multi-grain bread.  (insert Homer Simpson drool moment here) :

FREE LUNCH

I've been working this weekend job doing recruiting for a kids' acting studio for three weeks now.  It is commission only and the first two weekends I didn't make much money at all.  This job has the potential to pay hundreds of dollars per weekend but I was most assuredly NOT making that kind of cash.  I figured I'd give it one more weekend (call it a learning curve) and if I didn't make any real cashola, cut my losses.

Well, I get a call on Monday from one of my bosses and he is inviting me and a few of the other peeps to go to Catalina for the day for free, including a free lunch! Wow! Sure! I ask him how well I did this past weekend and he says he doesn't know for sure but well enough for him to include me in the free trip to Catalina!!!

Should be called DRUNKTALINA instead of CATALINA Island

Well, the trip was not without drama -- one girl was seasick on the ferry, so another girl gave her a half of a vicadin that she washed down with a shot and a glass of wine.  And then a couple more drinks on the beach.  She was a little out of control.  And by a little I mean a lot. Then later in the day some other girls were having such a good time that they were thinking about staying over.  But then after the one girl put down her credit card for the room for the night the other girls tried to bail.  Blah Blah Blah DRAMA. Let me just point out that in each of these drama-cases were the ladies in their 20's.  This shit just doesn't go down with women in their 30's. Not that I would know *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Old Friends (who're you calling OLD???)

"Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'lest you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of."  ~ Sarah Orne Jewett

So I had lunch this week with an old friend I haven't seen in at least a year.  It was so great to catch up with her! I almost didn't go, because as you all know I don't exactly have tons of cash flowing into my bank account at the moment.  Well, not only did she have a groupon (ie: paid for lunch) but she had a suggestion for a job!! And it pays well! And its not horrendous! And it is flexible! And I'm calling on Tuesday to see about setting up an interview!

Praise Jeebus!

Angels Singing

 Kittens are cute:

This pic came up when I google'd "hark the herald angels sing"