Saturday, March 22, 2014

back in the saddle. yee-haw.

What does a girl do to get over the ex-boyfriend blues? Reactivates her online dating profile. (largest sigh possible)

...DOUBLE SIGH...

So. It's been one day and two emails from guys I wouldn't even dream of dating have already emailed me! I feel so popular. And as I was scrolling through the pictures of guys using the app's equivalent of "hot or not" --


-- you can swipe through people's pix, rating them on a 1-5 star level. *slides into black hole and disappears for hours*

The thing is, there are so many fugly people that the average ones start to look not so bad. It is kind of the same effect as beer goggles except you're home alone, sober, swiping at your phone.


So how does one meet guys these days? I don't want to spend every weekend at the bar. You spend way too much money, get a beer belly, and lose half of the next morning to a hangover. I don't love dating online - you have to sift through all the ones that you are not compatible with/not attracted to/are only looking for sex/have mommy issues/etc.  And even once you find one or two dudes that you might deign spend time with, most of the time the spark just isn't there. The older I get, the more my dating pool dries to a puddle.


Anybody have any attractive, available, sane guy friends? That make me laugh? That are at least 5'11"?That have a good job/business, are interested in getting married, don't have kids, don't have any weird hangups, likes my cats, likes to travel, can cook, has friends, and might want to take me out????? Kthx.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

that's Madam PRINCESS to you

Well, finally I have ARRIVED. Bakersfield has crowned their queen and it is ME!!! 

When I arrived at work today and walked into the room where I teach, smack dab right where I usually preside over the minions was this:

uhm HELLO??? yes please.

seems so natural, doesn't it?
I suppose if I have to suffer through a hellish drive and then dealing with peasants, at least I am finally being treated like the royalty I am.


If you lowly servants need anything, I'll be reconnecting with my humble roots and my miniscule bank account. Ta-ta!