you want me to do WHAT?

Tonight I went to partake in another class at my stripper exotic dancer Goddess Fitness Dance groupon.  This class involved gyrating on a chair and then hump-twirling the pole.  After a warmup spin with the "butterfly," the teacher (not chubbs; the owner of the studio) broke down step by step how to go upside down on the pole.  Feet over hands.  Oh, and if you're advanced, let go with your hands while you're clutching the pole with your legs.  Here's what it was supposed to look like:

sexy

or even like this would've been great:

strong

but somehow I ended up looking more like this:

what the f*ck are you looking at

I don't think 30 days is even remotely enough time for me to become even the eensiest bit proficient at this thing.