you're listening to radio KWTF

I hope I'm not bursting anyone's bubble, but one of my favorite gigs is "live" radio shows.  You know on morning shows when they have listeners call in and air their dirty laundry? Many times that is not real... those are actors improvising a setup thought up by some producer.

*POP*

Today I got to "call in" to a radio show in Southern California and say that my "husband" bought me a treadmill on Amazon for Christmas and I know this because the confirmation email came to me and I am upset because I don't want a treadmill.  Now sometimes you get to chat with the DJs for a while and sometimes it is quick.  I had a whole back-story planned: I mentioned to my sister that I was thinking about starting to workout and my husband must have overheard.  I can appreciate the lengths he went to to find an original gift that I might actually like, but does he secretly think I'm fat? Is he giving me a hint? He must not be attracted to me anymore. Doesn't he know that treadmills are expensive and I would rather have had a vacation??? And does he not know that our place is small??  We don't have room for a treadmill.  If he really wanted to buy me something insulting a gym membership would have been better; at least that is something that I would use. Jeez.

Ooooh snap. (sassy hair whip)

Sadly, I think the bit was about 90 seconds and I barely even got out the explanation of why I knew that he bought me the treadmill.  All that back story for nuthin'.

Well, if any of you are in SoCal tomorrow listening to morning radio and hear a familiar story, you'll know it was because my husband is a complete ass and doesn't realize you never buy a woman an appliance for christmas.

that's a fake smile if I ever saw one/going to withhold sex for two months