Showing posts with label credit card. Show all posts
Showing posts with label credit card. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2016

swindle-bots

The Tinderland adventures continue....



Recently I have noticed some guys "about me" sections are filled with bitterness about why bother writing this section when this app is all about looks, and how they keep matching with "bots" and are there any real profiles on here, etc. One guy in particular apparently matched more than once with a girl whose phone mysteriously stopped working and wouldn't you mind going to my website?

insert credit card number here...


I feel only slightly lucky that there don't seem to be such "bots" luring the women.

First of all, who do these men expect to attract with their bitter-betty attitudes? And second, these guys are usually not very good looking. No looks and a shitty attitude? No wonder they only match with people trying to sell them something!! And clearly they have no brains either because they fall for it...



well.


Dear these men,

On a scale of 1 - 10, you are clearly a 4. Maybe even a 6 on a really really good day. If you match with a woman who is a 10+++, you are mistaken if you think she really likes you. Capitalists are everywhere, and as one can tell by the absolute infinite amount of porn on the internet, every advertising campaign ever, and the website www.sugardaddyforme.com, they especially prey on men who are thinking with their dicks.

Maybe next time work on your attitude, take a trip to the gym (or 20), and post something about yourself someone might want to know, not just how you have been swindled. Oh, and maybe just maybe, if she looks like she's out of your league, she is.

Sincerely,
Every woman in your Tinder feed


Monday, December 30, 2013

'tis the season for credit card bills

jingle bells, batman smells, santa lost his way...

let's look at christmas gifts throughout my years:

young Joanna: barbie corvette



sorta-young Joanna: Whitney Houston cassette tape (greatest love of all!)



medium-young Joanna: leather jacket (clearly I was a badass)




college Joanna: cash (for booze, naturally)

and now, ... medium-old Joanna:

oh shit I just spent $850 on my car for tires and brakes how the f*ck am I going to pay for that???

Looks like Santa is bringing me a check made out to American Express.  Although apparently asking for the whole amount was a little much. At least Santa made a dent...

(sigh)... so much for the fun and excitement of opening presents on Christmas Day. Remember when it was so magical? Now its "your grown-ass child cannot pay her own bills," "use some of her inheritance now" and "bail her out one more time."

Longing for the good 'ole days where Christmas was about excess and things you don't need.