Dumb-a Zumba

For about the past year, I have been doing P90X3 with Tony Horton hears a Who and I have been getting a bit tired of the same-old Tony.

So about two months ago, I joined a gym to mix things up. I have been trying out some of the classes, and last week I tried Zumba for the first time. I am not a dancer, but it's not like I have two left feet either. I can carry a tune in a bucket and I have a left and a right foot. But... I looked a bit like a daddy long legs trying to be Ginger Rogers.

Not cute. There was a woman right in front of me that was, ahem, larger than most of the other women in class, but let me tell you... she was Zumba Queen!! She was sexy, sassy, and Zumba'd her ass off! I was so jealous of her hips that didn't lie. To quote Shakira:

And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shaking it

I coulda watched her shake it all night! She had this darling skirt over her capri leggings, a tank with a bright sports bra underneath... If I take it again I will wear a cute outfit and put my hips through a lie detector test and then maybe just maybe I won't look like such a spaz.

Piloxing

was offered a free class at the local gym tonight. I brought along a girlfriend and together we tried out something called piloxing. Supposedly it is a mix of Pilates and Boxing. That is, if Pilates and Boxing drank about 62 redbulls, 497 cups of coffee, and 122 mountain dews. I felt like a spider on cocaine.

just like this, except imagine all the legs working

Well, if it works for the supermodels. (because supermodels do coke)


Although, if the teacher is any indication, these spasm-like activities do not make one fit or thin looking. She was a chunker! Not to say she couldn't outlast me on a treadmill, kick my ass in a ring, or last longer in a squatting contest. But she looked like she should lay off the twinkies. I don't mean to be judgey mcjudgerson, but if you teach a fitness class, shouldn't you be, like, wayyy fitter than anyone else in the room?

like this lady, the owner/creator/more-fit-than-you piloxer queen

now, she makes me think this piloxing thing could whip my butt in shape, unlike the heifer teaching the class.

well anyway, I can't say that I would take it again. Unless it was free. And at a convenient time. Then maybe.  yeah, yeah, whatever Judgey cat.