Galentines Day

One of my close girlfriends Nikki* started harassing me a few weeks ago about Valentine's Day. We're both single, and she thought we should celebrate Gal-entine's Day with a couple of other awesome, funny, talented, gorgeous single ladies. I was interested, but not super gung-ho. She was adamant that we fine females stick together on this day of romance and do something together and spent some quality energy recruiting us women to hang out with her. What exactly we were going to do was was up in the air, but something. 

Now I'm thinking wine and a rom-com on Netflix, or cheesecake and a comedy at the local movie theater that allows adult beverages. Chill with a side of booze.

Dear, sweet, lovely Nikki group texts the gals that there are some bands playing and wouldn't we all like to go see the bands? Only $25! And wouldn't that be the perfect Galentine's day event???

First, there's no cheesecake or movie in the equation. Second, I've never heard of these bands. BUT. Maybe it would be fun. I've done concerts for NYE, so why not other over-hyped holidays? I search for these bands' songs online.

...

It is the most horrendous, whiny, awful Emo crap I've ever heard. One of the songs I actually have heard before, way back in the 90s, and I remember thinking it was a stupidly horrible song back then!

I text her as politely as possible that I would rather stab myself in the ear with an ice pick than spend my hard earned money to listen to these horrible bands, and maybe we could do something else (anything else). I hoped the other gals would back me up... they were deferentially quiet.

Nikki said she understood it was totally Emo and not really very good, but had nostalgia for her from her youth.

And that she was going to go anyway.

So. After weeks of campaigning for a Galentine's day with me and the other girls, she is bailing. For a shitty concert with men who whine like 4 year olds who didn't get their way. Instead of hanging with the girls she asked to hang out with. uhm-huh. Ditched on Galentine's Day! Well at least I can spend it how I was going to - a bottle of wine and comedic actresses making me laugh.

*name changed to protect the truly sweet friend I'm hanging out to dry for the sake of a blog post

Soul Sister

You know those people that you have to love because you are genetically connected to them? Most call them family. And then there are those people you actually choose to love because they are who you wish you were genetically connected to? Your chosen family.

When I was 16, I decided my family should host a foreign exchange student. Maybe I'd seen the movie Better Off Dead a few too many times, but I had this very romanticized idea of falling in love with some gorgeous guy with a terrible accent. Well, my parents somehow agreed to the zany idea, and the following year we were driving to the airport to pick up the woman who would soon become my sister and another member of our family.

Sure, maybe I was a teensy bit disappointed we didn't get Hans, some imaginary strapping hunk from Hunkland, but I quickly got over it when I met Chantal. She was sweet, fun, pretty, generous, and brought me chocolate from Belgium. *nomnomchocolate*

That year we loved and fought as true sisters. We had each other's backs. We giggled in the wee hours of the night. We got on each other's nerves. We had adventures. At the end of the year, I didn't want her to leave! We hugged and cried and made promises to write.

Because I am ancient this was before email was prevalent (email was new and seemed a cold way to communicate and I could go days without receiving any... so I rarely checked it), and so we actually hand-wrote letters, and called when our college-student budgets allowed. I visited when I studied abroad in the Netherlands. We sent little gifts, and when she fell in love and got married, I flew out for the wedding.

A few years later I flew out again and was able to meet her two young children, who were absolutely adorable and sweet, and got to see her be an amazing mother. Her light showed even brighter through her kids.

Then we both got busy. She had kids, I was working in Los Angeles trying to break into the entertainment industry.  We emailed, we Facebooked, but despite the additional modes of communication, we talked even less. But we always knew the other's love was there. When we did chat, it was as if no time had passed. Like sisters, with a common bond, we could still know each other with just a tone in the other's voice.

A couple of years ago, Chantal got sick. Colon cancer. She fought and took risks and lived her life to the fullest even with pain and disease. She took experimental treatments. Things looked good for a time, until they didn't. A few months ago, she was told there was no more treatment to be done. Still, she remained positive, sure that some new treatment would become available, some new trial, some new possibility.

About a month ago, she went into the hospital because of some pains. She still was so positive, planning to get the pain under control. In my heart I knew then if she didn't come out quickly, she never would. A couple of days ago, she passed from this world. She was with her cousin, and he said that although she could not speak, she nodded that she was not afraid to go.

I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain, that she was not afraid at the end, and that she was surrounded by love. But I am still brokenhearted that my sister is not there for me at the other end of the phone, or a facebook message or email, or a "like" on a picture. My heart breaks for her two teenage children, that they should have to live the majority of their lives without her. My heart crumbles for her mother, who should never have to feel the pain of losing a husband and her only child. My heart hurts for all who loved her, including me.

I can't help but feel lucky to have known her, to have been loved by her. Everyone who knew her felt the same way. Perhaps those whose lights shine the brightest also burn out quickest. Or perhaps life just isn't fair and some only get to be here a short while. Either way, cancer fucking sucks and it can go fuck itself.

Give those you love a little extra tonight. Reach out to that person you've been meaning to catch up with. Open your heart.

I miss you, Cha... my sis.

goin to the chapel and we're gonna get marrrrried

My bestie got married yesterday! I went down to San Diego for the wedding.  I was excited to be invited since the whole entire guest list was 12 people.  Talk about teensy! Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony on a cliff overlooking the beach and ocean.  She has truly found her perfect man! I am so freakin happy for her!

The Wedding Site

After the wedding we all went out to dinner and had gallons of wine and heaps of food.  Well, as it turns out, the groom's bff and I were the only single folk at the wedding.  The entire group was "no-pressure"-ing us to hit it off.  Yeah.  Totally no pressure there.  Yikes.

Well, Herb* is a sweet, funny, engaging and gentlemanly.  He pulled out my chair at dinner. Yes, men, pay attention here because pulling out a lady's chair is super sexy.  HOWEVER. I am not particularly attracted to him physically.  He's not unattractive, I'm just not super attracted to him.

The night goes on, and so does the partying and drinking.  Herb seems quite enamored by me, but I'm not sure if it is genuine or just the wine or just a guy looking to hook up at a wedding with the only other single person.

So as it turns out, Herb's car is parked at the bride and groom's house (where I am cat-sitting for the night while they cozy up in a hotel honeymoon suite) so we both end up there at the end of the night.  Well Herb apparently needed to "sober up" before driving so he came inside.  I could just tell he was going to make a move. And he did.  Well now this is awkward.  I'm not sure I even want to do this, but if I don't, it will be super-duper-awkward for the rest of the weekend as we all hang out for wedding festivities.  Er, uh,... oh haha I love this movie! OMG did you see that commercial? Wow who are they advertising to at this time of night? So funny I just love watching late night TV! Spray on hair? No way! Call this number for fun flirty girls in your area? Hilarious! *SMOOCH* hmmm that wasn't so bad... *SMOOCHSMOOCH* well, if I have to...

Rest of the weekend? Smooth sailing my friends. No further makeouts required and he even invited me to join him in Vegas Sunday night. (Yes, I'm sitting in SoCal as I type, and no, I didn't go to Vegas. Although the prospect of a free trip did tempt me) Will I see him again? Well, he lives in Utah and will be traveling for the next three weeks out of the country.  ...so who knows? ;)

*name changed to something totally identifiable to anyone that knows him.  but not his real name.