I think I need a new horse

I recently posted that I am "back in the saddle" of dating, and it is completely disappointing that it is the same crap that I dealt with the last time I did online dating.

No, overweight, troll-like 56 year old, I do not want to go out with you.  

No, dude who lives in Indiana (probably with his wife and kids) I don't want to get to know you better. 

No, guy who is more than 10 years my junior, I don't think we will have anything in common. 

Where is the guy who lives reasonably close to me (duuuude. all the hot guys live near the beach, about 45 minutes or an hour drive away from me. I don't do long distance), is reasonably hot (99.9% of the guys on this site are bfug), is reasonably tall, (as in over 5'11") and has a reasonable amount of brain cells floating around in his noggin (shall we say... more than two)?

If you know of anyone who fits these criteria, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE email me or facebook me or twitter me or write a comment here or send me a fucking courier pigeon.

Or I'll just adopt a few more cats and be done with it.

I already have two... it wouldn't take much.