on the downhill slide

you know how some birthdays you feel so young and carefree, and then others you think "how the hell did I get so fucking old???" yeah, well I just had the latter.  When my mom was my age, she had a four year old (me, the darling one) and an 8 year old (my older brother).  I can barely pay my bills and am dating someone just out of diapers college. (relatively speaking) What the hell am I doing???

Ahh well, at least I'm not this guy. 

I was once told by a psychic that my late 30's - early 40's would be the start of big success in my career... is that the silver lining of getting older? Something to look forward to in the coming years? Can that success get started a little early please?

oh hold on, I think I just heard something... was that a knock at the door? no? is that just my imagination?

Hello? Opportunity? Anyone there? 

hmm... I'll just keep opening the door over and over again just in case.  ya never know.

Black Gold, Texas Tea, Swimming Pools, Movie Stars

I just turned down a job. An acting job. What is the world coming to????

(sigh...)

It was even a paid acting job. And a fun role. And up in Northern Cali for 6 weeks. But not paid enough. Who can live off of $275/week??? That is below the poverty line! I guess they can only hire trust fund kids.

too bad my oil money hasn't come in yet.

(double sigh...)

So I stay here in LALALand aimed on getting something even bigger and better than some dumb lead role in some dumb play in some dumb picturesque town for some dumb reputable theater company.

Hey Uncle Jed? How soon can I get adopted?

ha-ha-ha. ... not funny

remember when I was complaining about having too many things to do? Well, I guess I shoulda kept my big trap shut.

I cancelled my regularly scheduled teaching to go to the audition, I cancelled going to a screening with my bf to work the Betty job, and was pressing to shoot the unstitched stuff later in the day so I could "do it all."

And then...

Filming is pushed to next weekend.  My new Betty position - the bosslady is  sick.  Her assistant (wait... who was I supposed to be? Assistant #2??) will call back if they decide they want me still. The only thing I have left is my audition on Sunday.  Aaaand just like that, my weekend opened up again.

wiiiide open.  

Not quite what I was looking for! Time to create my own destiny.  dun dun dunnnnnn

anyone know anything about cloning?

ok Universe, when I said I wanted more work, I didn't mean for them all to fall on the same day. I am scheduled to shoot a sketch for Unstitched (see video below) on Saturday and on Sunday I have my regularly scheduled teaching gig.



And I have an audition on Sunday at the same time as I am supposed to teach, and I got a new Betty gig for Saturday and possibly Sunday.  Seriously??? And here I sit all day today and tomorrow with nothing to do. Even my hike-date cancelled on me for tomorrow morning.

How the hell am I supposed to be in all those places at once? Jeebus.  Time to prioritize.  Trouble is, do I choose paying bills or chasing the dream?

When does "or" become "and"???